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Have you ever played the game two truths and a lie? It is a fun little get-to-know-you game where someone shares two truths about themselves and one lie. Then, the group has to figure out which one is a lie. My go-to is always something like, “I like country music. My favorite food is shrimp. I lived in Costa Rica for over a month” (the shrimp one being a flat out lie). Well, I want to present you with another set:

  • Pornography is addicting
  • Watching pornography does not hurt anyone
  • God still loves people who watch pornography

Do you know which one is the lie?

TRUTH: Pornography is addicting.

There is a certain chemical in our brain, called dopamine, which makes everything from drugs to gambling addictive. Dopamine is a chemical that releases in our brains to increase attention and motivation, and one of the ways that it does this is by associating certain things with rewards or pleasure. Pornography can flood our brains with dopamine because it tricks us into thinking that we are experiencing a real, intimate relationship. This addiction is especially hard to break because you are getting your body addicted to its own chemicals. Unlike with drugs or alcohol which you have to insert into your body, you have the ability to pull up a pornographic mental image any time.

After you get hooked on pornography, like most addictions, you will build a tolerance and need more and more each time. Think of when someone has their first alcoholic drink. The first time or two they may feel a buzz off only a couple of drinks, but as time goes on they have to consume more and more to get to that same buzz. The same thing happens with pornography, you may be satisfied with a picture of a woman in a bikini in the beginning, but as time goes on you need more. You need to view porn more frequently, need different things, and need more hardcore images and videos to get the same effect. This is how one seemingly harmless photo can lead to a serious pornography addiction, one where you are locked away in your room all day engrossed in the world of pornography.

LIE: Watching pornography does not hurt anyone.

It hurts you.

Porn hurts you, it hurts your partner, it hurts your future spouse, it hurts your children, it hurts your friends, and it hurts your relationship with God. When your life begins to revolve around pornography and the next time you can access it, you begin to feel empty. Guilt and shame will creep into your life, which prevents you from living freely and openly. Often times, when one is struggling with something like this, they will create another version of themselves to present to the world (and to God). This will prevent you from having real, authentic relationships with the people around you, and will come to define you.

When you first feel attracted to someone it may be because of their smile, their laugh, the way that they always listen to you and know what to say, how they ask you about your day and send you sweet good night texts, or a variety of things. Then, when you get into a real relationship- real problems will develop. Relationships are tough and they will bring problems, but these problems will be overpowered with love, understanding, and compassion. Porn is attempting to offer you a relationship without any of these problems- a screen can’t fight with you, right? The problem is that it can never offer you any of the good things that come out of relationships. The screen will never ask you about your day, and it will never care about your problems. This leads you to become selfish and only care about the physical aspect of relationships.

It hurts your partner.

Pornography also creates an unrealistic expectation that your partner, or future spouse, will never be able to meet. Porn promotes voyeurism- it allows you to keep clicking and searching until you find someone that you like and find attractive. It is not healthy, or even really possible, to cycle through real people in this manner in the search for the person who will bring you the most pleasure. The sex shown in pornography is also very unrealistic, meaning that those who are watching it are going to expect things from their partners that they are not physically capable of or comfortable with doing. With these expectations, nobody will ever be good enough.

Watching pornography is also a form of cheating. It is saying to your partner, “you are not good enough for me” and finding another source of pleasure. Even though the intimacy shown in pornography is artificial, you should only be looking for that type and level of intimacy with your partner. Also, even if you do not consider watching a screen to be cheating, a pornography addiction leads to the need for real cheating. When your partner is no longer enough for you, you will search for others.

It hurts everyone involved.

The pornography industry also hurts everyone involved in it. The majority of human trafficking victims, including minors, are forced into pornography in order to ease them into sex trafficking. Even if someone “chooses” to enter the porn industry, they are often abused and mistreated. They can be beat up, they can be unfairly paid, forced into things that they do not want to do, and even raped. The problem is that every single person watching pornography is fueling the demand, and therefore supporting these terrible crimes. Consuming pornography is supporting an industry that fuels human trafficking and other terrible abuses.

TRUTH: God still loves people who watch pornography

A pornography addiction will hurt your relationship with God. By living in this constant sin, you are separating yourself from him. As mentioned earlier, a pornography addiction will bring shame and guilt into your life and this will lead you to hide from Him. Instead of being authentic, you will try to present to Him a version of yourself that He will like better. God does not love that version though- God loves you. God loves the broken, scared, and beautiful person that you are. There is absolutely nothing that you can do to ever make God love you less. His mercy is limitless and he will always be there, waiting for you with open arms.

Due to his limitless love, God wants to help you heal. If you are struggling with a pornography addiction, ask God for his help and forgiveness. When you fall, get back up and go to confession. When you feel weak, ask for the strength to break free. He will be right there with you, and He loves you. God does not love the “perfect” version of you- He loves the real you.

RESOURCES

Covenant Eyes– An online resource that you install on all of your devices and allow it to set filters that block inappropriate sites. Also, you choose an accountability partner who will receive regular emails with your browsing history. This accountability will help you break free of your addiction.

Fight the New Drug– Non-profit organization that provides tons of information on the effects of pornography. They challenge everyone, even those who do not struggle with porn, to “fight for love”.

The Porn Effect– Another resource which provides articles and media about the harms of pornography. This site is aimed at those who are struggling with pornography and has information about prayer, fasting, and counseling. It also offers a battle plan to help you fight your addiction.

Remember, if you are struggling, it is okay. You can break free from this, and God still loves you. He always will.

2 Replies to “Porn is a Lie”

  1. Pornography is a sin and a version of unfaithfulness to God and one’s spouse. It could stem from being abused at a younger age, or being introduced to this dark side of sin by oneself/others.
    It has been a struggle but no sin is greater than the victory our Lord has had over any sin. He died for all the sins of mankind and spending time with Him can help get over any addiction.

    Also,it is important the people who are addicted to porn find help asap.

    Important post !
    Diana

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